Very soon you will tell the whole world of your mutual feels. Before God and before others, you will promise to love until death, to live together for life. This will be uour day and your wedding.
Since the nuptial ceremony centers around the two of you, it is only natural for you both to participate actively in the service and plan the details. Today’s marriage ritual for Christians makes that possible, and we hope this booklet makes it easier and clearer for you.
The celebration of Christian marriage is one of the most significant events in your life. We believe that we have the responsibility to help you prepare for this joyous occasion. The following customs and practices of this parish give you some basic information, and we ask you to read it carefully.
Contents
1. HOW TO GET STARTED
2. WHO MAY BE MARRIED HERE
3. DIVORCED PARTIES
4. ARRANGEMENTS
5. REHEARSALS
6. OFFICIATING CLERGY
7. PRE-MARITIAL PREPARATION
8. EXPENSES FOR THE WEDDING
9. MUSIC AND SOUND SYSTEM
10. DECORATIONS/FLOWERS
11. DRESSING ROOMS
12. WHITE AISLE RUNNER AND ROSE PETALS
13. WEDDING GUILD/COORDINATOR
14. RECEIVING LINE
15. PHOTOGRAHS AND VIDEO RECORDING
16. HOLY EUCHARIST
17. RICE AND CONFETTI
18. ALCOHOL, DRUGS AND SMOKING
19. ALLOWABLE TIME OF USAGE
20. TIMELINE
1. HOW TO GET STARTED
Make an appointment as soon as possible with the Rector. Several months’ notice is advised so there is ample time to schedule appointments for pre-maritial preparation. The clergy, along with the bride and groom, will meet in order to make final application and set a date for the marriage service. Pre-mmaritial counseling sessions will be discussed at this time.
Contact the Parish Operations Manager at the church office to schedule your wedding date. The wedding date cannot be confirmed until the priest has talked with the couple and agreed to officiate. A usage deposit and one half of the total cost for usage of our facilities will hold the scheduled date. All fees will be handled by the Parish Operations Manager (except as noted below). The Wedding Guild will NOT handle any funds. The usage fee schedule for members and non-members of Good Samaritan are as follows:
Weddings:
Member Non-Member
Worship Center/Patio Area $300 $850
Security Deposit N/C $250*
Each Additional Hour of $25/hr $25/hr
Usage requested (see
Paragraph 19). Commencing
10 minutes into each hour
Rector’s Honorarium (if used) N/C $150**
Musician’s Honorarium (if used) $150** $150**
Organ/Piano Usage (if used) N/C $50
Sound System (if used) $25 $25
Sexton $25** $25**
Wedding Reception:
Member Non-Member
Roetter Hall $200 $750
Security Deposit N/C $250*
Sexton $100** $100**
Tablecloth Rental (if used) $8/each $8/each
* - The usage deposits will be refundable in part or in whole after the wedding/reception and upon inspection of the facilities by the wedding coordinator/guild and the Operations Manager.
** - Rector’s and Musician’s Honorariums and Sexton’s fees are arranged directly with the individual.
Any outstanding balances due on usage of our facilities must be paid in full two weeks prior to the wedding/reception.
The Operations Manager will provide you with some basic information and a questionnaire, which must be returned to the office one week after the wedding date is scheduled. The Operations Manager will also contact the Wedding Guild who will then further assist you in the details of the ceremony, provide recommendations and assist you with preparations.
2. WHO MAY BE MARRIED HERE
The Episcopal Church requires that at least one of the parties be baptized and that you give us at least 30 days’ notice for the service (Canon Law). The ceremony must be attested to by at least two witnesses. No civil marriage ceremonies will be allowed.
We hope that those who seek to be married at Good Samaritan are, or will become, active members of our faith community.
3. DIVORCED PARTIES
If one or both parties have been divorced, the Bishop’s permission is required before the Church can be used or the priest may officiate. Additional time should be allowed for this. The clergy are required by Canon Law to obtain the following information:
A. A certified copy of your final divorce decree or annulment.
B. A Declaration of Intention (given by the priest) signed and dated.
C. Name and location of the Church to which you
belong; how long the clergyperson has known the
couple; how often you attend services.
The clergyperson then writes a letter to the Bishop of San Diego requesting permission to officiate, and enclosed a certified copy of the divorce decree and the Declaration of Intention. This should be done at least 3 months before the wedding to allow time to petition the Bishop.
4. ARRANGEMENTS
A proper marriage license is required under the provisions of the law of the State of California. The license should be secured well in advance, (but not more than 90 days in advance) and should be at the church and in the hands of the clergy no later than the night of the rehearsal.
The Rector gives final permission regarding the use of the facilities. The Operations Manager advises on what may be or may not be allowed and the required fees.
IMPORTANT NOTE: We are aware that small alterations/arrangements for the ceremony cannot be foreseen and last minute changes are necessary. However, the deadline for any major additions or changes to the wedding event (such as placement of furnishings, sound system requirements, etc.), not made at the initial time arrangements were made, is one week prior to the wedding. These changes must be made with the Operations Manager and the Wedding Guild.
5. REHEARSALS
A wedding rehearsal is necessary for even the simpliest service. Typically, this is held in the late afternoon on the day before the wedding, and it should be scheduled with the Operations Manager at the time the wedding date is confirmed. All persons in the wedding party should attend the rehearsal, including the officiating clergy, and it is important that everyone be present on time. The rehearsal typically takes two hours, maximum.
6. OFFICIATING CLERGY
The officiating clergy usually directs the rehearsal and wedding ceremony with the assistance of the Wedding Guild. Clergy not from this parish, including those of other denominations, may be invited to assist. It is appropriate for the host clergy to invite the visiting minister to participate, so please have the name, address and phone number of any visiting clergy you wish to include available to the church office. The church facilities are available to other ministers with the approval of the Rector.
7. PRE-MARITIAL PREPARATION
The Episcopal Church requires that both parties be instructed as to the nature, meaning and purpose of Holy Matrimony. At Good Samaritan, we recommend three sessions with the officiating clergy or with a professional counselor, and/or attendance at an Engaged Encounter weekend.
8. EXPENSES FOR THE WEDDING
There is no charge for any Sacrament of the church. There are, however, fees for those services rendered that are not part of the Wedding Sacrament; e.g. building use, sextons, custodians, etc. These fees have been outlined in full in paragraph 1 of this booklet.
9. MUSIC AND SOUND SYSTEM
The prospective couple will need to make arrangements with the church organist who will assist them in the selection of music for their marriage service. Final approval for all music resides with the organist and clergy. If an outside musician is to be used, prior arrangements must be made with the Operations Manager.
Use of our sound system and microphones is available upon request. No one but the church sound technician is allowed to adjust this system.
10. DECORATIONS/FLOWERS
The wedding party is responsible for the putting up and taking down of all decorations and flowers under the general guidance of our Wedding Guild. It is also the wedding party’s responsibility to coordinate the timing and details of decorations with the Wedding Guild. Certain restrictions and guidelines apply regarding decorations and flowers which the Wedding Guild will be happy to explain in detail (e.g., special holders must be used for any pew/aisle decorations (available from most florists), aisle runners, no thumb tacks or tape used on the pews, etc.). ABSOLUTELY NO DECORATIONS OR PREPARATIONS ARE ALLOWED TO BE PLACED ON THE ALTAR.. Pew bows, two 7-branch, freestanding candelabra with candles, unity candle stand, silk flower arrangements and flower stand pedestals are available upon request. If your reception will be in Roetter Hall, arrangements for flowers and decorations in the Hall are to be coordinated/approved by the Operations Manager.
11. DRESSING ROOMS
The is ample room available for the bridal party to dress at the church. The church will be open two hours before the scheduled ceremony is to begin for getting dressed and/or taking pictures. The women have the use of the large Bridal Room/Nursery, and the men will use the Conference Room. It is required that the bride and groom designate a responsible individual to remove everything from these two rooms to their cars and leave the rooms in the same condition as found immediately prior to the service commencing. We ask that no valuables be left in any of the rooms as the church cannot be liable if anything is missing or misplaced.
12. WHITE AISLE RUNNER AND ROSE PETALS
A white aisle runner is optional and if used, is to be provided by the bride. Unless the florist is providing this, it will be necessary to have it at the church at the time of the rehearsal, boxed or bagged with the bride’s name on it.
In addition, only SILK rose petals may be used and strewn down the sanctuary aisle by the flower girl and then only if an aisle runner is used.
13. WEDDING GUILD/COORDINATOR
Our Wedding Guild are volunteer, unpaid members of the Good Samaritan faith community. Their service ministry is to offer assistance and guidance to the bride and groom in all things regarding the wedding ceremony including all rules and regulations, procedures and etiquette. The Guild is trained to answer questions the bridal party might have as to any options available to them such as flower placement, usage of facilities, candles, photography in the church, etc. Directing the rehearsal with the officiating clergy and organizing the wedding party for the ceremony are the Guild’s prime responsibilities. At least one member of the Guild will meet at least once, several months in advance of the wedding rehearsal with the bride, will be available, by appointment, with the bride and groom to discuss arrangements, will be present at the rehearsal to check on any last minute details, and will act as Director on the day of the wedding. The Guild will be available at the church two hours before, during and two hours after the wedding ceremony to assist in helping your special day go smoothly for you and your guests. Weddings are such memorable occasions, and guild members enjoy participating at such a happy and exciting time for the bride and groom. Guest wedding coordinators are encouraged to contact our Wedding Guild at least 30 days in advance of the wedding. Our Guild is willing to try to accommodate the bridal party’s wishes and needs, however, Good Samaritan’s Wedding Guild has complete control and final governing authority of any issues relative to the wedding ceremony.
THE WEDDING GUILD/COORDINATOR RESERVES THE RIGHT TO TERMINATE ANY OR ALL ACTIVITY, AT ANY TIME, ASSOCIATED WITH THE WEDDING CEREMONY AND A FORFIET OF A PORTION OR ALL USAGE FEES CONTIGENT UPON THE GUIDELINES SET FORTH IN THIS BOOKLET, RULINGS, REGULATIONS AND PROCEDURES ADRESSED VERBALLY, OR CONDUCT AND/OR ACTIONS.
14. RECEIVING LINE
A receiving may be requested if the time schedule permits. Typically, this will be immediately following the ceremony and signing of the license (which is done in the chapel area), outside the main entrance of the Worship Center. If a reception is to be held in Roetter Hall, the receiving line will be at the Hall entry following picture taking.
15. PHOTOGRAHS AND VIDEO RECORDING
Because photography and videography are such important parts of your special day, we have some specific guidelines to help things go smoothly during the service. It will be your responsibility to provide the Operations Manager with the names, addresses and phone numbers of your photographers/videographers 30 days in advance of the wedding, so that we may notify them of the rules and regulations regarding photographs and videography. As appropriate, we ask that your ushers advise guests who bring cameras that there be NO FLASH OR ARTIFICAL BRIGHT LIGHT photography during the ceremony. You may wish to print this in your bulletin so your service is not disrupted by well meaning friends. Videography may be used with the permission and guidance of the clergy and wedding guild.. Pictures may be taken before or after the service, and the re-enactment of any particular part of the service may be done with the consent of the clergy. If pictures are taken after the ceremony, we ask that you please limit the time to no more than 30 minutes. Photos may be taken anywhere on Good Samaritan property EXCEPT the Memorial Garden.
16. HOLY EUCHARIST
If a Holy Eucharist is planned, please arrange with the clergy and the Wedding Guild. Special arrangements will need to be made to have acolytes and chalice bearers as the Sacrament of Holy Communion will be offered to all baptized members and believers in the real presence. Please allow an additional 20 to 30 minutes for the Holy Eucharist.
17. RICE AND CONFETTI
Rice, confetti, bird seed, rose petals, balloons and the like are not permitted, excepted as noted in paragraph 12 of this booklet for safety and environmental reasons. However, live butterflies or bubbles are an option.
18. ALCOHOL, DRUGS AND SMOKING
The only alcoholic beverage that may be consumed at a wedding reception is champagne — or other wine. According to Diocesean policies, no alcoholic beverages may be consumed on the church property before the wedding begins or after it is over, except at the reception. ABSOLUTELY NO FOOD OR DRINK IS ALLOWED IN THE WORSHIP CENTER. This ruling not only applies to the bridal party but the guests as well. No controlled substances (drugs) may be on the premises at any time. Intoxication of any kind before the beginning of the wedding is grounds for postponement and/or cancellation of the service by the officiating clergy and/or wedding guild at their discretion. No smoking is allowed inside any of the buildings on church property.
19. ALLOWABLE TIME OF USAGE
Upon confirmation of your wedding date at our facility the usage of the Worship Center will be confined to six and one half hours total usage according the the following time line (any additional time requested will be charged according to the fee schedule in Paragraph 1 of this booklet):
Usage of the Worship Center
(Rehearsal Date) 2 hours
Usage of the Worship Center
(Wedding Date/before the ceremony) 2 hours
Usage of Worship Center
(Wedding Date/Wedding ceremony, approx.) .5 hours
Usage of Worship Center
(Wedding Date/after the ceremony) 2 hours*
* These 2 hours are broken down under normal circumstances as follows. 1/2 hour for post wedding photographs and/or receiving line and 90 minutes for removal of all ‘last-minute’ personal effects, decorations and clean up.
Usage of Roetter Hall and the Patio Area for the wedding reception will be limited to 6 hours and may not extend beyond 11:00 PM. Our custodian will be on hand to assist with any needs or requirements you have before, during and after the reception. Time allowable for setting up, catering and decorating the Hall must be arranged two weeks in advance with the Operations Manager.
20. TIMELINE
A wedding, whether 5 or 500 guests, takes thoughtful and careful planning. If you follow a schedule, you will save yourself from having frayed nerves and headaches . . . And problems will be held to a minimum. It is recommended that the person arranging or coordinating the schedule, discuss it with the assigned Wedding Guild person in advance, especially with regard to floral or other deliveries and photo set-ups.
AS FAR IN ADVANCE AS POSSIBLE
Speak to the clergy and receive permission to schedule your wedding date.
Reserve the Worship Center for the Wedding and rehearsal with the Operations Manager.
If Roetter Hall is desired for the reception, reserve the specific hours needed with the Operations Manager.
Talk with the Music Director, and schedule the organist, soloist and other music needs.
THREE MONTHS IN ADVANCE
Talk with the Wedding Guild and finalize details regarding the rehearsal, receiving line, photography, flower delivery, decorating and any other requirements you may have.
Schedule your counseling appointments with the officiating clergy.
ONE MONTH IN ADVANCE
Make a schedule for the wedding date - for yourself and your attendants. Encourage your groom to also make a schedule for his groomsmen.
Banns should be published three weeks before the wedding in the Good Sam Notes, for at least three times. The church office will take care of this for members.
Confirm all details and timing regarding the wedding and rehearsal with the Operations Manager, the wedding guild person and the organist. Be certain that the caterers have been in contact with the Operations Manager and have arranged the timing for deliveries and any equipment requirements.
Make sure the photographers/videographers have been in communication with the Operations Manager and/or Wedding Guild person regarding rules concerning photo taking.
Begin to put things in boxes to be brought to the church the night of the rehearsal; i.e. you marriage license, the guest book, programs, white runner (if used), unity candle, etc….
Get your marriage license
THE WEDDING DAY
Arrange your morning and day with plenty of extra time so that you can arrive at the church two hours in advance of the service. Candid photography in the Bridal Room usually takes about 30 minutes.